Deming, NM: The Do’s & Don’ts of Backyard Cookouts in Southern New Mexico
There’s something special about a family BBQ in Deming. The smell of burgers sizzling on the grill, kids running through sprinklers, neighbors stopping by unannounced, and at least one family member convinced they could win a TV cooking competition.
But every local knows a successful backyard cookout takes more than a bag of charcoal and a pack of hot dogs. It takes preparation, patience, and the ability to survive triple-digit temperatures while balancing a paper plate full of potato salad.
So before you fire up the grill this weekend, here are the official do’s and don’ts of a Deming family BBQ.
DO: Bring Your Own Chair
Not just any chair YOUR chair.
Because if you arrive late, your options might be:
- A tiny camping stool
- A lawn chair missing a leg
- Or the classic “ice chest seat”
If your chair has cup holders, you’ve officially earned VIP status.
DON’T: Take Over the Grill
Every cookout has one Grill Master.
You’ll recognize them immediately because they:
- Wear sunglasses even after sunset
- Carry giant grilling tongs like a badge of honor
- Say things like, “These burgers need another minute.”
Do NOT flip the burgers without permission.
Do NOT recommend extra seasoning.
And definitely do NOT ask if the chicken is done every five minutes.
That’s how you lose your BBQ invitation next summer.
DO: Compliment the Chile
This is Southern New Mexico. Complimenting the chile is simply good manners.
Even if your mouth is on fire and your eyes are watering, the proper response is:
“Wow, that’s really good.”
Bonus points if you ask:
“Red or green?”
Extra bonus points if you answer:
“Christmas.”
DON’T: Start Family Arguments Before Dessert
A Deming BBQ can go from peaceful to dramatic faster than a dust storm rolling across Luna County.
Topics to avoid:
- Who makes the best tamales
- High school sports rivalries from 20 years ago
- Why someone still hasn’t returned a casserole dish from 2019
Keep the peace until after dessert.
DO: Prepare for Wind
Deming weather has two settings:
- “Beautiful sunshine”
- “Sudden wind gusts launching napkins into another zip code”
Secure the tablecloth.
Protect the paper plates.
And never underestimate a flying tortilla chip.
DON’T: Leave Food Sitting Out
The flies in Southern New Mexico appear faster than relatives when fresh menudo is announced.
One minute your burger is unattended.
The next minute it has several unwanted visitors.
Keep the food covered whenever possible.
DO: Bring Extra Drinks
If you think you brought enough drinks… you probably didn’t.
Someone always arrives with:
- Extra family members
- Neighbor kids
- A friend nobody officially invited
- And diet beverages
Be the hero with the extra ice chest full of ice.
DON’T: Forget Sunscreen
Nothing says “great BBQ” like accidentally turning the same color as roasted Hatch chile.
Even if you’re sitting under a covered patio, the New Mexico sun still finds a way.
DO: Let the Kids Have Fun
A proper backyard BBQ usually includes:
- Popsicle-stained shirts
- Water balloon fights
- Sidewalk chalk everywhere
- And one child somehow completely soaked for no clear reason
That’s part of the tradition.
DON’T: Try to Leave Right After Eating
In Deming, saying goodbye is a process.
You’ll say:
“Well, we should probably head out.”
Then suddenly:
- Someone starts cutting watermelon
- Another story gets told
- Someone offers leftovers
- And before you know it, the porch lights are on
The BBQ decides when it’s time to leave.
Final BBQ Wisdom
At the end of the day, backyard cookouts in Deming aren’t really about perfect food or fancy decorations.
They’re about laughing too loud, eating too much, staying outside until the evening cools down, and making memories with the people who matter most.
Even if the hot dogs got burned.
Again, be responsible, stay safe, and have fun!
